Love is our cross to bear...

When I was 18 , I lived with my sister Danielle for a month. She was in her last year of college at BYU- Provo and I was getting ready for my first quarter at Utah State in Logan, Being the baby of the family, I had spent the last 6 years at home as a kind of only child battling out the terms and conditions  of my teenage existence with two exhausted but stubborn parents.  I am, and always have been, an introvert while Danielle was a sparkling  social butterfly with a no nonsense form of honesty  that meant you either loved her or thought she was hiding her broomstick somewhere rather uncomfortable.She  had a passion for trying new things and  possessed the confidence to meet strangers and become friends. We were as dissimilar as sisters can be.... except when we laughed.

Danielle and I were drastically different and yet we could,and often did, crack ourselves up laughing over the most ridiculous things. We got that from our mom, I think,  The month I slept on Danielle's couch we  did  a lot of laughing. I remember she would come home from class and I would have been working on a story I was writing at the time and she would make me read her what I had  written that day. She was my cheerleader. I never thought my writing had any real potential other than for my own satisfaction until my big sister  showed me with her love and support that what I had to say was interesting, sometimes even entertaining. While  she saw me as  the smart little sister who had a hard time finishing anything,  I knew she was the    brave one  determined to overcome her learning challenges and make a difference in other people's lives and I knew she had the brains to succeed.

Having  someone  like Danielle in your life was a blessing. Like all blessings it came with a myriad of challenges and frustrations and made you a better person for  loving  and being loved by her.

There is a hauntingly poignant song by John Gorka that  talks about love being a cross to bear.  I didn't fully comprehend what that meant until my sister died. While  the lyrics may be for some lost love I never fail to think of  my big sis Danielle when I listen to these words:

And so it is until we meet again
And I throw my arms around you
You can count the gray hairs in my head
I'll still be thankful that I found you