"Oh, I am very weary, though tears no longer flow; My eyes are tired of weeping, my heart is sick of woe.”

I am restless tonight. My head will not rest on its pillow nor will my eyelids put their charges to bed. I am not determined to be melancholy yet it somehow manages to find me . You see, it is the gaping desparity between what my mind knows and my heart cannot comprehend that leaves me sleepless and teary eyed. It is the suddeness of sorrow and regret continuously mingling with a harrowing sense of impotence that disturbs my peace. I have been trying to understand the surprise of emotional unpredictability when life altering circumstances become your life or the life of someone you love. There are forces we cannot fight, and my mind understands that, yet...my heart resists the pragmatism of its logical command center. Life is not fair. This my mind understands while my illogical organ cannot accept or even comprehend the application of such an idea on an personal level. While this enigmatic battle between heart and mind cycles on I will lay my head on a tear stained pillow and pretend to fall asleep.